S is for Surprises (#AtoZChallenge)

Even with the best laid plans and the best preparation, SURPRISES can happen. Our resilience is constantly tested when we face something we absolutely did not expect or prepare for. Case in point: I thought as I was all prepared for this month... and then my phone went down. And then the internet. And both proved to be a lot harder to fix than anticipated. And suddenly, keeping up with the Challenge became harder.

What do we do when SURPRISE pops out of nowhere? Well, if we are resilient, we deal with it. Here is a piece of advice that was very meaningful to me, and helpful in dealing with "WHAT IF?" anxieties. I'd like to share it, maybe it will help you too:

You CAN'T prepare for everything. You can't have a plan for every possible event. What you CAN do is build your resilience: take care of yourself, build up your reserves of energy, mental strength, physical wellbeing. So when the unexpected DOES happen (and it will), you have the reserves to deal with it.

Some surprises are not fun. But some of them are. Did you come across any FUN surprises during this year's Challenge? :)

I personally was delightfully surprised by a lot of great themes this year.

Keep up the good work, you are doing great! :)

R is for Resistant (#atozchallenge)

This clip from The Big Bang Theory Tells you almost all you need to know about the difference between resilient and resistant.

We see Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard with a complex logic problem mapped out on the white board in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. It turns out that they are trying to choose a restaurant and a movie theater for that night's entertainment. The reason the process is so involved is because Leonard, Raj, and Howard are trying to satisfy Sheldon's demand that the theater has an Icee machine and sells Red Vines at the candy counter. They try multiple alternatives, all of which are met with Sheldon's resistance. Finally, they reach the only conclusion: leave Sheldon at home and go out without him.

Leonard, Raj, and Howard are resilient: they just want to get something to eat and go see a movie. Sheldon, who once commented that "as long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I can be flexible," is being resistant: he's willing to forgo dinner and a movie with his friends rather than settle for Twizzlers and a Slurpee.

If you've watched The Big Bang Theory from the beginning, you know that there are a lot of moments like this, where plans for an entertaining night are stymied by Sheldon's truculence. You wonder why they're willing to put up with him, an d the answer is simp[e: they're his friends.

There are good reasons to be resistant. Everyone has the hill they're willing to die on, although not necessarily over Red Vines and Icees. Sheldon is an extreme case, but we all do this. If you feel comfortable sharing, leave us a comment and let us know.

Q is for Querying #AtoZChallenge

Hi!

I’m Brandy, a writer of YA fantasy, thrillers and adult fantasy. And the Japanese proverb above encompasses my own personal definition of resilience: the ability to stand up after being knocked down, and a willingness to put yourself in a position to face the same circumstances, even when you know you might get knocked down again. 

Never have I found this more true than with the experience of querying.

For the writers out there you may associate querying with one of the steps on the path to traditional publishing. This is certainly what I think of. But I think that we all query way more than we realize.

A typical job search parallels querying very closely,

As does using dating apps,

Or, hoping for engagement with blog posts.

In all of these we are selling ourselves, our work, our experience and backgrounds, our interests, packaging them into tidy bundles that we hope will appeal.

And when rejection hits- it hurts.

A lot. 

This is where resilience comes in. 

For me resiliency in querying is based on two factors:

Accepting rejection without internalizing it.  My work is being rejected. But others' opinions on my work is not a reflection of my personal worth.

Reminding myself if a door closes, it probably wasn’t the door for me. I don’t want to work with an agent or publisher who doesn’t love my work. 

I think these translate well to other avenues of querying whether it’s in your work or personal life.

When you’re resilient you have the ability to accept rejection, despite how personal it feels, and continue to put yourselves out there.

If you’re writing that means continuing to query your book, or the next book.

If you’re applying to jobs that means continuing to search for a role you want and not settling for the first opening that says yes.

If you’re searching for connection that means continuing to look.

And if you’re putting yourself out there with blog posts, it means taking on challenges like A to Z, to find the right audience and to make connections with other bloggers.

Sure, I fall down a lot, but I always get back up.